cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
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