I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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