Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
