A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Boobs are out for the taking
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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