I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
