the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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