It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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