Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
