just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
