hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
