This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I wish there were birth control emojis
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Randomize
