Jerry, you need to find god
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
