making cat noises will not fix the situation.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
