I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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