i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
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okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
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Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.