So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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