Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?