Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.