would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it