Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
