we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
