I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
