Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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