Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
