4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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