New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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