its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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