we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
