# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
