I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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