Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
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