He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
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