About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize