My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize