I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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