ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Randomize
