I cockslap morals
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
