i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
