I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
