I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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