no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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