Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
