Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
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