Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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