your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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