Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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