Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
