you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
