32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
