Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
