Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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