you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize