I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
