it's like her boobs came off with her bra
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
