dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
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I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
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Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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