Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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