i used baking grease as lip gloss
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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