I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize