I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
