oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
