I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Randomize