here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
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