Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
