I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
