like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
