do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Randomize
