Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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