his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
sex in a hospital.. check
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize
